Create the Next Extreme Ironing: Ridiculous Sports Contest

Building on YesButNoButYes’s fantastic Top Ten Obscure sports list, Mental Floss magazine has come up with the logical next step: Now that we’ve identified the most obscure existing sports, it’s time to expand the list. In order to do that, Mental Floss has announced a contest to create the most ridiculous sport. The winner gets a copy of Cocktail Party Cheat Sheets. Personally, I would have preferred that the magazine actually create a tournament for the winner’s sport, but I can understand how the Cocktail Party Cheat Sheets are easier. So be it.

The rules are pretty straight forward:

1. The sport must be so new it’s never been played on earth (but apparently if you picked it up during your study abroad semester on Mars, that’s cool)
2. The sport must be consistent with the laws of physics (which is disappointing and limits the imagination, but fair enough)
3. The sport must be relatively cheap to play, with equipment that can easily be obtained by anyone (no fair demanding tennis rackets strung with unicorn hair, or some crap like that)
4. The sport must be an actual physical sport involving at least two players (board games need not apply)

I thoroughly recommend that everyone participate. This is a great idea – so great, I’m sorry I didn’t think of it first. No matter, I can at least revel in it. I say go nuts. Come up with something truly bizarre, like flaming olive tossing or some kind of long distance race involving a trashcan. But try to use normal objects everyone has. We don’t remember this now, but many of the most popular sports in this country and the world started that way. Basketball started when James Naismith used a common peach basket. Lacrosse was played with rocks at first because that’s what was lying around. A century from now, your sport using ordinary items could be the next basketball

I’m formulating my own sport as I type. I’m going to work out a few kinks and then write about it here after I submit it. Stay tuned.