World Team Tennis Wildcard Match - Like NFL Wildcard Weekend, but Everyone Wears Dorky Shorts

Tonight at 7 pm the World Team Tennis's Championship Weekend begins in Newport Beach, as the Wildcard round of World Team Tennis takes place between the Newport Beach Breakers and the Springfield Lasers. By the way, that's Springfield, Missouri. If you're wondering what the hell Springfield, Missouri is doing with a professional anything, never mind tennis, you're not alone. The winner gets to battle the Sacramento Capitals, the regular season Western Conference champs, on the 29th. The winner goes up against the victor from the match between the Philadelphia Freedoms and the New York Sportimes (Sportimes? That's the worst sports team name I've ever heard, like naming a baseball team "The New York Baseball Players") for supremacy of WTT.

I'd watch the Breakers-Lasers match, but OLN decided that Hunting Adventures, Dream Hunts, Best and Worst of Tred Barta, and Expedition Safari would generate higher ratings. That's a damning indictment of WTT. But it's undeserved. And you can find out how undeserved (at least little) by keeping track of tonight's match through WTT's Livescoring. Some things to watch for:

• Will the eyebrows of Pete Sampras (who plays for the Breakers) finally conquer the Marginot Line of skin in between them and converge?
• Is Anastassia Rodionova attractive or not? I can't find a decent picture. Check her out on the Breaker's players page. There's potential, but will she fulfill it? Or as a 24-year Russian female, has she already begun the quick descent from smoking hot young blond to embittered and craggly old babushka?
• Will Yakov Smirnoff show up courtside? Yakov now owns and performs in his own theater in nearby Branson, Missouri (only 40 miles away) and it would be great to see him travel to support the local team. "In World Team Tennis, tennis players hit the ball. In Soviet Russia, tennis players leave country to escape below average living conditions! HAHAHAHA!"

FSC will keep you updated.