Monday, July 24, 2006

North America Proves Europe Counts Better

Let's establish one thing - Rugby makes any major American sport look as masculine as My Little Pony. American football players would be winded, bleeding and crying by the end of a normal match. Basketball players would be broken in half. Baseball players would swallow their chew. Rugby players don't go for phantom fouls, flopping, or acting like they're hurt. Unless appendages are actually ripped off - and even then, it depends on the appendage - they're going to play and not delay the game. Long story short: don't mess with rugby players.

And Europe for years has had a near monopoly on rugby. Sure, rugby is popular on American college campuses. But there is no level of rugby in the US to rival the 6 Nations Tournament, in which England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, France and Italy put their toughest SOBs on the field each year and pummel each other... while occassionally moving a ball around. The tournament itself dates back to 1871, when it was only played between England and Scotland; the other four were added over the next 80 years. To say it's passionate is an understatement. Rugby fans in those 6 countries during the tournament each year make soccerites look like tepid Arizona Cardinal enthusiasts.

Now, America and Canada are trying to capture that... although in a rather embarrassing way. As mentioned in Recent Fringe Sports Results, the North American Four Tournament is in high gear, with one more day of games before the medal round. And this is great - I'm all for taking cool sports from other countries, adopting them, and then dominating those other countries in what was once their own sport because our pharmaceutical companies can create better illegal performance enhancing drugs than their pharmaceutical companies. It's sports imperialism.

What bothers me is more of a semantics problem. With a name like North American Four, you'd think the tournament would have, you know, four countries, like the US, Canada, Mexico and the Iroquois. But no. The North American Four is really the North American Two. Canada and the US divided their national teams into two teams to make four, with clever names like Canada East and the US Hawks. That seems a little pathetic to me. Like they were desperate to have a bigger tournament, but Mexico and the Iroquois had better things to do, so the Yankees and Canucks decided to shadow box for a while and call it a heavy weight bout.

Seriously, guys - call a spade a spade. Canada + America = 2 nations, not 4. American kids score badly enough in math without broadcasting that fact to the fans whose sport we'll dominate and whose will we'll crush in a few years.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is true there is no level of rugby in US to rival the 6 nations - but this in turn is behind the tri-nations , Newzealand, Australia and South Africa.
And to say "whose sport we'll dominate and whose will we'll crush in a few years" is hilarious!

1:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rugby has to be the most boring sport ever created. It's just fat men rolling around in mud.

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great to see North America taking an interest in the "Game they play in heaven". Its not fat men rolling around in the mud, its fast, they are fit, strong and the game has incredible intensity. there would be a heap of ready to go talent in North America from what i can see of the gridiron physique

7:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To say that the 6 nations is even remotely up there with the best is a joke, the Tri-Nations is by far the premier tournament of the world outside the world cup, It features the famous All Blacks, Springboks and only in the last 20 years new power houses Australia, The world cup has been won by all 3 of these Tri-Nations teams, only one team in the 6-nations has won a world cup, anyone who thinks rugby is just fat men running around in mud is clearly disillusional, that statement would clearly illustrate why USA is so bad at the sport, espeically if thats the type of men they get to play the game over there. Southern Hemisphere rugby is electric compared to the north, nothing beats a Bledisloe Cup Game, nothing, the intensity is just astonishing!

7:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Europe for years has had a near monopoly on rugby? What?! Why is it then that the Europeans nearly always fall to the might of the Southern Hemisphere teams such as New Zealand, South Africa and Australia?

10:09 PM  
Anonymous Gay-Guy said...

Experiements were done to ascertain exactly WHY rugby players needed more time to "recover" from a game than perhaps baseball/basketball/gridiron and even SOCCER! In the end they calculated that the cumulated "stress" load a top level rugby player endured during one game was equivalent to the stres load of running a marathon! Even us who have played at a social level would have to agree that a normal game of rugby has you feeling out of action for the next 2 days. The combined effects of weight load stress/explosive reflex/ and constant motion on muscles that happened in a rugby game was found to be very damaging to the body structure and needed at least 3 days to recover somewhat to a state that was at least ready to train again.

If North America never grows with rugby....it is THEIR loss. The rest of the world will grow, as rugby slowly yet surely increases in many parts of the world. Eventually rugby will be big enough that the States will have to acknowledge that it is a major sport worldwide and worthy of ESPN. However by that time they will be too far behind and will just watch each World Cup in awe knowing that their equivalent (gridiron) is not as hardcore.....therefore being unable to claim they have the most hardcore team playing the most hardcore team game in the world!.....and that is a mighty kick in the pants to the American male eagle....oh....I mean ego.

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nobody likes rugby in Europe, just in the british islands and France,when they win something. Italian rugby team could lose with the us team or even panama team.
europeans only really love football, only football all the year,football and more football

4:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site. Keep working. Thank you.
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2:31 AM  

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